I pulled into the left turn lane, clicked on my left turn blinker and looked up the hill ahead to verify there was no oncoming traffic. I began to turn the wheel, and,well...that's really all I remember of that left turn. I never lost consciousness, but shortly after the sound, which was so loud I could hardly hear it, subsided, I realized I had been hit head on while making a left turn. Being a newly licensed 17 year old, I was well aware that getting hit while making a left turn certainly meant that this was my fault, I mean those are just he rules; moreover, while some place inside me knew that my parents would only care that I was okay, my first thoughts turned immediately to, "Oh my Goodness, my parents are going to kill me!"
Mom and dad came and they hugged me, I had no injuries, and I went back to driving the family car, when available, since my car was totally smashed! I don't remember that I was distracted in any way during that accident. I just lost focus on what I was doing, didn't pay close enough attention to my surroundings, or possibly, saw the car, thought I had room, and went for it. Thankfully no one was really hurt, and I went on to become a much better driver as a result, understanding the intricacies of driving in all types of traffic, and on all types of roadways, and ultimately, I have a pretty clean record.
Now, picture yourself making that same left turn. Unlike my juvenile attempt at a left, you observe the normal safety precautions, pull into the left lane, flip on your blinker, wait for the appropriate distance between your vehicle and those oncoming, ease on the gas, go left and on about your day. Simple – a simple left turn! You do it, what, twenty times a day? Completely normal, right?
Well, let me tell you, the left is not so simple, or even normal, here in China. I am pretty sure that it is a well calculated plan by the US government to delay the shipping of our personal vehicle thus keeping us off of the Beijing roads as long as possible. As a 17 year old in Glenside, Pa I neglected to follow the rules – the rules of driving. I "failed to yield on left", the police came, I got a ticket, and I got on with it. Here, as it appears to me, there are no rules, suggestions only, and everybody just gets on with it.
Suggestions
When making a left turn, never signal. In, fact, never signal, period!
Lanes are for wussies. If it is a two lane road, then certainly three lanes can fit. Bike lanes count as car lanes too.
Never, stop for pedestrians or bikers, just honk at them.
Honking is not, as it is in the states, a sonic form of the middle finger, but more like that little pointer finger you hold up when you say, "I'm right over here, and I want you to know that I am over here."
When in traffic, inch it up there - whichever car gets his bumper in front has the right-of way.
Red lights used to be green lights, so if there is a break in traffic, gun it.
If you can't see around the car in front of you, assume the coast is clear.
Do not make eye contact with other drivers. It is easy to be a shitty driver when you completely remove the humanity from the experience of being on the road. Despite all of these crazy things I have seen, it is rare to see a Chinese driver lose his cool. They just honk and, eyes forward, merge into the path of least resistance.
Pass everyone, all the time, even when there is no reason to pass. It is a challenge to masculinity to be behind another car, so get in front. I sat in the back of the cab on a two lane road, and we sped up behind a truck – must pass! The driver eased the car out to the left to see if there were oncoming cars, there were. Of course, you ease back in line behind the truck and wait for the oncoming cars to pass, then speed around, right? Maybe on the those two lane, broken yellows in the hills of Virginia, but not here. Gun it out into the oncoming lane, make this two lane into a three lane(see suggestion #2), the other car can use the bike lane; oh, and honk so you know I'm here.
Police cars with their lights on mean nothing, honk at them and tell them to get out of your way. The flashing blue and reds mean that they are on duty, not that they are pulling you over. Now, the blacked out Audi's with the blue and reds in the grill, they seem to have the influence to move everybody out of the way.
If you have an accident, get out and demand cash, or be prepared to pay it if it is your fault. When the police come, they are going to tell you work it out amongst yourselves. I have no clue how "fault" is determined when there are no rules anyway.
My personal favorite, and to be quite honest the one that fears me the most, is pass the left turning car ON THE LEFT! Think about that 17 year old boy, flicking his blinker in Glenside, Pa, waiting for the oncoming cars, pressuring the gas pedal, and a car whizzing by on the left, in the lane normally used by oncoming cars, with a lil' honk for good measure. It is completely illogical to even look there, in your left rear view, before making a left turn. Illogical eh?
In my second cab ride in China, I was in a fender bender at the toll booth. The traffic was really backed up and many cars were moving out into the oncoming lanes, and then trying to wedge back in at the toll booth – you've probably seen a portion of that move on the beltway during rush hour. My cab driver was not having it, so when the guy in the BMW tried to nose in, he kept inching forward, keeping his bumper just ahead. When the BMW filed in behind us(victory!) the cab driver accelerated just enough to get the flow going, then slammed on the breaks baiting the close following BMW right into his bumper. A few red Maos were peeled from the Beemer guy's wallet, and things settled, we were set to be on our way. The cab driver hopped back in, laughing at the good fortune of this accident which probably doubled what his fares made him for the day. I sat there feeling lucky I was alright, but what I should have done, what I imagine would have happened in many other cabs that day, I should have grabbed my neck, held out my hand, and gotten some Maos of my own.
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Paul Koch (@pkoch9999)
Paul, what a great story about driving in Beijing. Ah I remember the evening of the left turn in Glenside - That Olds ended up in the junkyard. So why would anyone want to drive in China when you have drivers and cabs so readily available. Actually I learned to drive in Puerto Rico which has crazy drivers & strange rules too. It wasn't so bad once you get used to it. Thanks for the great story
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